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First month of the year almost over. All n all been a positive month, so hopefully a good sign for 2025. On a random side note, I like how 2025 looks. Something about those numbers are appealing together. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024...ugly years! A terrible collection of numbers. But 2025. Now that's got some style to it. That's a number I want on my...my brain immediately went to the word "tombstone" but I do not want the year 2025 on my tombstone. I think that was just the only thing I could think of that a person has that has years on it. That doesn't change. I still can't think of anything else. But I still don't want 2025 on my tombstone. Just a year as attractive as 2025.

Actually, I don't even think I care to have a tombstone. Just cremate me or launch my body out of a catapult or something. Yeah, catapult my body into the ocean. Or use a giant slingshot like angry birds. Try to knock some blocks over with it while your at it. That's all I ever wanted to do in life anyway. Knock blocks over. But life got too complicated and I don't play with blocks anymore.

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Fourth panel I meant to write want, not wast.

So yesterday I was preparing my post for my new mailing this (yes I'm still talking about it) but I opted to do monthly posts. N' y'know what? SO MUCH EASIER. You know what you lot are? Spoiled. That's what you is. New page every bloody week. I can barely keep up. And most of you don't even read it each week! But I set a precedent didn't I. And I DO have a sneaking suspicion that I actually WOULDN'T get these pages done if I didn't have to keep posting em here.

The real issue is. I'm ahead of myself. Page wise yeah. Drawn, inked. But y'know where I've fallen behind? Bloody rubbing out pencil marks underneath. It's SO BORING. Page after page RUBBING OUT the drawing in pencil underneath the pen. Soooooo dull. Also, had this weird realisation that I do not need to COLOUR the pages with pen. By colour, I just mean black. There's a lot of black on the page. All the black on this page your looking at, Tuft's fur...Debra' hat. Coloured in black with pen. But here's a question...why? I can just fill it in digitally with a couple clicks after I scan it. I've probably lots WEEKS to colouring in every page diligently. And we're on page what now? a hundred and five? Oh no, I just checked. Fourty something. Well it's still a lot of pages!

Ugh, getting myself all worked up.

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Something about this page reminds me of being a young artist. I don't know why. Maybe it reminds me of something I saw years ago. But what's interesting about it is that it reminds me what it felt like to constantly be discovering and being inspired by things. It's not like things don't inspire me now, but it's different when you're much less defined in your own individual style as an artist. I'm now at a point where I'm well informed about various styles and art scenes. So I'm not constantly discovering new things in the same way. Occasionally maybe, but rarely.

But broader than that...it's interesting how I will potentially never feel that way again. Or not for some time. Like that was what it felt like to be a certain version of me at a certain time. I guess this is kind of dumb/obvious but I suppose I don't often view emotions as like...time based. All I mean by that is that I think about things like, happy sad angry etc as more in the moment things. Like things make you angry or they make you happy. But something I haven't thought about that much is how some of the more nuanced emotions that are kinda there in your neutral state...they can just kind of...disappear one day, or get overwhelmed by something new and just never come back.

I'm not trying to be gloomy or deep or anything like that. I mean one of those emotions is like...how exciting getting sweets used to be. Like I don't really care about the fact I don't feel that way anymore. I just remember it. I suppose the part of it that really interests me about it though, is the fact that I don't think it's possible to know which feelings are temporary. Cos you get so used to it...at least for me, I don't even think I realise I'm feeling it until after. Like I didn't NOTICE that I was excited discovering new art. I was just drawn to it naturally. I can only really sort of define the feeling now that I don't feel it anymore. And I feel that way even about things a few years ago.

I suppose things are just clearer in retrospect. It's kinda nuts though, like I'm sort of very logical but half emotion driven for sure. So in a sense, I'll never fully understand why I'm doing what I do until after I've done it. For better or worse. I mean, not to say we aren't all like that.

Anyway, I'm not moved by art as often or in the same way, (everything's more intense when you're younger, right?) but I still enjoy making it. So that's good enough for me.

Also I am enjoying the new Ninja Turtles TV show. Good ol' ninja turtles. Never went off that for whatever reason.

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So remember how I said that my mailing list was just going to be directly copied from my posts here?

Well turns out I didn't write anything for the first like 16 pages...so I actually am having to make new content for those posts. This week I showed off some concept artwork for Tuft, including my original design for the book cover. So yeah, you can see that HERE if your interested and maybe subscribe to the mailing list after all.

Don't worry, I'm not going to keep advertising my mailing list to you every week. Not because I respect you enough as your own audience. In fact it's because I don't. There's like 4 of you. I don't care what you do.

That being said I also can't keep talking about my mailing list cos like I said...I plan on copy and pasting most of this stuff TO the mailing list. So...yeah next week lets something a bit more copy and pastable.

Actually, thinking about it. You guys are the real ones for sticking with Tuft Luck before the hype so to speak. So Okay, you've earned my respect after all.

I won't forget you when I'm famous (I'm lying).